The California Courts Self-Help Guide provides step-by-step information and resources to understand Child Custody and Visitation issues.
California law says that judges must keep the “best interest” of your children in mind when deciding on custody. California laws have changed a lot in the last few years. Courts no longer automatically give custody to the mother instead of the father, even if your children are young. Courts cannot deny your right to custody or visitation just because you were never married to the other parent, or because you or the other parent has a physical disability, or a different, or minority lifestyle, religious belief or sexual preference.
In most cases, parents can make their own agreements for custody and visitation. If you and the other parent agree on custody, the judge will probably approve your agreement. If you cannot agree, the judge will send you to mediation and a mediator will help you. If you cannot agree, the mediator will recommend a parenting plan to court.
Remember: the best plan is a plan that is good for your children. Change is hard for children. Research tells us that if both parents are active in their kids’ lives and do not fight over custody and visitation schedules, the children will usually do much better.
There are 2 kinds of custody: legal and physical.
Legal custody means who makes the decisions about the children’s health, education and welfare. This includes deciding where the children go to school or whether they should get braces on their teeth. If the parents share joint legal custody, both parents can ask schools and doctors for information about the children. It is important to be clear about who makes which decisions so that there is no disagreement later on.
Physical custody refers to the time the children spend with each parent on a regular basis. For example, the children may be with one parent on school days and the other on weekends plus a mid-week dinner visit. The parents can split the holidays and vacation periods. Sometimes, if the parents live near each other and they get along as parents, the children go back and forth without an exact schedule.
Most parents need a schedule. Joint physical custody is a good choice for parents who can agree on a plan on their own or with a mediator’s help. It requires cooperation, flexibility and good communication between the parents. Sometimes, a judge gives both parents joint legal custody but not joint physical custody. This means both parents have equal responsibility for important decisions in the children’s lives. But, the children live with one parent most of the time. The parent who does not have physical custody usually has scheduled time with the children.
Parents should talk to a lawyer about physical and legal custody before making a final agreement.
To get or change a court order for custody or visitation, you must file forms at the Clerk’s Office. The forms you need depend on your situation.
If you:
Parents who do not agree on custody or visitation MUST go to mediation. Call the Child Custody Mediation Services office to schedule a Parent Orientation and Mediation.
If you are filing a divorce or paternity action, you can:
Ask a lawyer to help you or to represent you. To find one, look in the yellow pages of your phone book or call the Alameda County Bar Association referral service.
This section tells you about:
What is and when to use a Request for Order (RFO)
If you have an existing case or are ready to file a divorce/legal separation or parentage case, you can start by filing an RFO asking for the custody or visitation orders you want. These forms are in addition to the forms you need to start your divorce/legal separation or parentage case.
A Request for Order is a court order that tells the other parent (party) to come to court.
You can file at any time during your case -- even after your divorce is final. You can use a Request for Order to ask the Court:
If you are the one filing the Request for Order, you are the "moving party." Fill out these forms:
You also need this form to give to the other parent:
You can download all the forms you need to file a Request for Order for free. Please use the links in this section.
Fill out your forms neatly in blue or black ink.
You can also fill out your forms online using the Judicial Council website here.
If you have an existing case, no matter how old, use the same case title and case number. The parent who was the "Petitioner" or "Respondent" in the old case will be called the same in the new filing. After you fill out your forms, make 3 copies (for you, the other party, and one extra). The original is for the court.
Take your completed forms to the local court Family Law Division and ask for a hearing date. If you need temporary orders for custody and cannot wait until your hearing, include the papers asking for temporary orders with the other documents. A judge will make a ruling on the temporary orders within 24 hours. You may have to give the other parent a copy of your papers first before the judge will make a ruling. When you file your forms, the clerk will ask you to pay a fee. If you don’t have enough money to pay the fees, ask the clerk for a fee waiver packet. Fill out the fee waiver forms and present them to the clerk with your other papers at the Clerk's Office.
You must serve the other parent with endorsed filed copies of the court forms at least 21 days before your hearing (or sooner if the judge says so).
You must have someone serve the other parent with copies of the forms you filled out and filed.
The person who serves the other parent must also serve blank copies of these forms for the other parent to fill out:
Remember: You cannot serve the papers yourself.
An adult (18 years of age or older) who is not involved in your case or a professional process server (you can find one in the telephone book) can serve the papers for you.
The person who serves the papers must complete a "Proof of Personal Service" (Form FL-330). The proof of service form says he or she has delivered the papers to the other party.
NOTE: Once the other party has been properly served, and you do not have a child custody agreement with the other parent, mediation is mandatory. Contact the Child Custody Mediation Services Office right away.
File the original "Proof of Personal Service" with the Clerk’s Office as soon as possible and before your hearing. Bring a filed copy of the proof of service to your hearing. If you can't file the proof of service before the hearing, bring the original plus 2 copies to your hearing.
Go to court early.
Remember: bring copies of all papers in your case, your copy of the filed proof of service, and any other documents that support your case. If you have any witnesses, make arrangements to ensure they come, too.
After the hearing, any orders the judge makes must be written down on court forms